Blackhawks Looking Good This Year, Says Bears Fan On Verge Of Tears

Braving near-negative temperatures to support his team in the stands of Soldier Field, one thought stuck in the mind, heart, and tear ducts of troubled Bears fan Mac Dabrowski — “At least the Blackhawks might have a shot.”

“God, I love this team more than a wet Al’s Jumbo Beef with a side of Chicago Handshake, but these guys are playin’ like they were recruited off of the red line at 2 a.m. this morning,” grumbled Dabrowski, receiving nods of agreement from fellow emotionally distraught supporters in his section. “Ah shit, how did Swift fumble that? Welp, I suppose I’m just happy the Blackhawks are looking aggressive this year. Yep, that’s what matters. I am in a good mood and this is not ruining my week.” 

Donning a fuzzy bear hat with the classic “C” logo painted across his frozen-nipped torso, as the game went on, it appeared increasingly evident that the “A” on defenseman Connor Murphy’s uniform must stand for “At least we’re not the Bears.” 

“Those Blackhawks are really the team to watch! Their last game was an ugly 2-1 win that experts say should not have happened, but hell, they got the job done!” sniffled Dabrowski. “Geez, if they play their cards right, they could be looking at a first-round playoff appearance! Does it get any better than that?”

By the fourth quarter, the visibly red-eyed man began to honestly acknowledge something more world-shaking than watching this Caleb Williams comeback victory fall to complete pieces… Chicago may be a hockey city now. And that is a beautiful thing which does not require sobbing into a dirty pillow for roughly three hours each week for a minimum of six months.

Upon returning to his empty beer can-clad apartment with a Brian Urlacher poster affixed to the ceiling, Dabrowski began to deal with his conflicted soul by watching Connor Bedard highlights and researching how one may resurrect Dick Butkus by next season’s training camp.