Breaking: Patriots Replace Ex-Player-Linebacker With Ex-Player-Linebacker

BREAKING: Foxborough, MA – New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft released a statement without questions to local media:

“Our team needs a new direction. We scoured the NFL’s past and present looking at all angles, strategies, and creative ways of doing things.

That’s why I’m thrilled to announce we’ve hire Mike Vrabel, an ex-player-defensive-minded-former-linebacker-coach.”