Disney Apologizes For Muppet Version Of ‘Remember The Titans’

Following a controversy-laden release on Disney+, the media giant has come forward today to apologize for their ill-advised Muppet remake of ‘Remember the Titans’.

“‘Remember the Titans’ is a powerful tale about healing the wounds of segregation through the unifying power of community and football, and we realize now that racist Muppets was probably not the right way to share this lesson with children,” said Disney spokesperson Kristina Schake. “We’d like to apologize in particular for the scene in which Miss Piggy breaks up with Kermit because he befriends a black frog Muppet.”

Public opinion was particularly unfavorable about a sequence in the third act where Kermit, after being paralyzed in a car accident, watches his team win the championship from his hospital bed and flails his arms around wildly while shouting ‘hooray!’ before breaking into song with his signature banjo.

But despite the laundry list of controversial decisions, the film’s director stood by the intended message of the film — that it doesn’t matter if you’re black, white, green, or blue with a huge nose, all Muppets have the same stuff on the inside: a human hand, not being appropriately compensated. 

“Sure the film wasn’t perfect, but I maintain that there wasn’t a dry eye in the house when Gonzo gave his rousing ‘Soul of a Muppet’ speech,” said director Paul Haggis. “Though in hindsight the moment might have been undercut by the old guy Muppets heckling, “If MLK had a dream, then that speech must have been his nightmare! Do ho ho ho!”

Following the cold reception to the film, Warner Brothers has decided to cancel their Muppet “We Are Marshall” release of “We Are Fraggle,” after the opening sequence in which 75 Muppets die in a plane crash did not test well with audiences.