For All The Marbles: This Loser Bet His Marble Collection On The Lions Game

Local loser and family man, turned down-on-his-luck loser and family man, Karl Williamson lost his prized marble collection on the Detroit Lions game last Sunday.

The tragic event took place after Williamson reportedly walked into a local bar and yelled, “I’m taking the pride of Detroit to win it…for all the marbles! Who wants a piece of this sweet action?!” For the next three hours Williamson watched in horror as his beloved Lions got obliterated.

“I’m shocked anyone took him up on it. I mean, who the hell wants marbles? But some guy was there with his kid and figured ‘eh, what the hell?’” said bartender Kip Riley, before adding that the marble collection was allegedly signed by the 4-12 2012 Lions and appraised for $1.79 but looked like eight pretty standard marbles and one big brown one.

“My buddy who bartends down the street said he did the same thing two weeks ago with his Pogs. Just barged in like he owned the place and yelled ‘Pogs!. All or nothing. If you bitches are so confident the Lions are gonna lose, then put your Pogs where your mouths are! I won’t even take the points!’ and then he lost his Pogs.”

Sources confirm Williamson was last seen walking into a casino with a box of Beanie Babies — proving that like all diehard Lions fans, yes, he has lost his marbles, but never his pride.