Maintenance Guy Finally Has Time To Fix Stadium’s Applause-O-Meter

A maintenance worker in Geneva, Illinois finally had a chance to fix the clearly broken applause-o-meter at the Kane County Cougar baseball stadium after it had been stuck on a “Roaring!” reading following an offer for free Arch Deluxes, new from McDonald’s, in 1996.

Nice weather and an empty Northwestern Medicine Field had given Joe Wagner, an employee for the Class A team for almost 30 years, a chance to tackle the annoying glitch head-on.

“No one would know it was broken if it was stuck on ‘Not Bad!’ or even ‘So-So!’” Wagner told reporters.  “But  ‘Roaring!’? Tipping almost in to ‘Deafening!’? No chance. Maybe if we had better seasons or offered that new buttermilk chicken biscuit…” Wagner told reporters.

Wagner also noted the measurement device registered “Roaring!” applauses even when the stadium was at 20% capacity or even empty.

“It was not easy to recalibrate.” Wagner said. “For a while, the meter was registering a single clap in the park. Darn if I knew where it was coming from.”

Then, in a truly “Roaring!” tipping into “Deafening!” moment, the machine seemed to release all the pent up sound it was storing since 1996 all at once.  “That seemed to do the trick,” Wagner said as he climbed out a debris pile. “Good as new!”

The Kane Country Cougars plan to put the restored applause-o-meter to good use this weekend at their first game of the season, where Popeye’s Spicy Chicken Sandwiches will be given-away to the loudest section.