March Madness: You’ll Hate Some White Guy From Duke And 5 Other NCAA Predictions

Well America, it’s that time again.

It’s March and it’s time for Madness. But, is it really “madness?” Every March the same several things happen over and over again – year after year. Here are some “predictions” that we all know always occur. Hang in there – we’ll get through this together:

  1. Some White Guy From Duke That’s the Goddamn Worst

From Christian Laettner to JJ Redick to Grayson Goddamn Allen, it’s going to happen. We know it. You know it. Duke knows it.

  1. You Bracket Blows

Stop. Stop talking about your bracket, please. We JUST got here. Christ, can we have some water or something before you tell us why your bracket is the (and you’ve never seen a pair of) “tits.”

  1. Some Small School Captures America’s Hearts – Then Breaks Them

We love you. We love you. We love you. WE HATE YOU.

  1. Fuck Kansas

The Jayhawks are always good, every year. It’s only a matter of time before the Nation joins hands in the annual, “Fuck, fucking Kansas” chant.

  1. Villanova Is The Shit And Is The Greatest College Team Of All Time

@Novambb follows us. That’s all it takes to be the winner of our bracket every March. #LetsGoNova

  1. Dick Vitale – Damn, We Miss You

The Vocal Cancer is gone, come on back NCAA GOAT. America needs you.