News of Mike McDaniel Getting Fired Stuns Miami Resident Right in the Middle of Robbing Neighbor’s House

29-year-old Miami native Alex Martin was in the middle of robbing his neighbor’s house when he received some startling news: his hometown Dolphins had fired their head coach Mike McDaniel.

“It was a shock,” Martin said, removing his blue and orange ski mask. “I was in the middle of lifting this gorgeous 70-inch flatscreen TV when I saw the news. I almost dropped it right there. McDaniel’s gone?”

Though many Dolphins fans had been expecting a change, Martin claims that he never expected one would actually come. “I know the offense had their issues, but Mike was such a good guy. I robbed his house last week, he was a great sport about it. He even signed my jersey.”

“It just ruined my whole vibe, honestly. I was just looking around thinking, ‘I don’t even really want this waterbed anymore.’” Martin shook his head.

“Do you know what it’s like to have something you love taken from you?”

Martin was not the only person surprised by McDaniel’s sudden firing. Thomas Holliday, the home’s owner, was also stunned. “I got home to see half my stuff gone and a stranger sobbing in my living room. I was about to call the police when he told me what happened,” Holliday sniffled. “Now we’re both crying.”

Despite the shock of losing his coach, Martin is still attempting to look on the bright side. “A new coach means a new house with new stuff. It’ll take some getting used to, but hopefully I’ll grow to enjoy robbing him too.”