Not Again: Shaq Eats Entire Little League Team

Cue the sports blooper reel! Looks like yet another Shaq snack-attack hit Florida’s Youth Baseball program this week.

Starstruck onlookers at an Orlando Little League game confirm The Big Shamrock helped himself to a full roster of Junior Marlins last Sunday, having just reportedly scarfed down the White Sox and Phillies tee-ball teams earlier this month.

“Look, I goofed up, okay?” Shaq said of binging on the whole team in one sitting. “I know eating so much so fast is a choking hazard. I should probably portion these kids out, but I was hungry!”

The legendary center’s pal, Yao Ming, however, defended Shaq’s appetite. “A growing boy like him needs to eat as many Lil’ Astros and Young Orioles as possible if he wants to be 7’6” like me,” laughed the Chinese superstar. “When I was still growing in the lab I ate everything—and everyone—in sight!”

Though he admittedly wolfed down too much in one snack sesh, Shaq noted his food choices have been healthier lately. “I used to fill up on McDonald’s and Krispy Kreme,” he said of eating the fast-food buildings, “so I’ve been watching my diet. That’s why I went for a ‘little’ team instead of a full-size team. I have to make better choices if I want to grow big and strong!”

Asked whether he felt bad for the parents of the kids he ate, Shaq said he understood how they felt, because he has kids of his own that he’s eaten.