Olympics Shown On White Sox Score Board To Entertain Fans

Good news!!

To increase attendance, Guaranteed Rate field is now showing the Olympics on the scoreboard at White Sox games! White Sox home games are being marketed as Olympics watch parties, with a disclaimer in small print that a live baseball game will unfortunately be played on the field.

Some of changes made at Guaranteed Rate include, rotating outfield seats 180 degrees to point fans at the LED scoreboard, seventh inning stretch has been replaced with Olympic anthem, home run fireworks are used for exciting moments which only occur within Olympic events, and the gift shop employees have used markers to cross out “White Sox” logos and replace them with crudely drawn Olympic rings.

One fan seemed upset with the recent changes, “This is bullsh*t, I have been a loyal White Sox fan for my whole life and we get gymnastics? I want archery! Mr. Comiskey would be ashamed!”

Should fans want to keep track of the actual White Sox game they will be supplied embroidered White Sox stationary which doubles as toilet paper or fans can listen to local White Sox radio which is now just an intern saying, “They’re losing!” over and over and over again.

Since the current Olympic games only last a few more days, organizers are looking at other content to give White Sox fans a reason to come back including Tik-Toks, episodes of Succession, and full coverage of the 1972 Olympic Games.