Pathetic: WWII Veteran Throwing Out First Pitch Can’t Even Get The Ball Over The Plate

Absolutely pathetic. I thought these guys were supposed to be manly—with the title ‘The Greatest Generation’ this guy should have a howitzer, but I’ve seen more velocity at my local urinal after two tiny beers. I mean what, this guy didn’t have enough time in the four years he spent in that Japanese POW camp to find a rock to toss around with his squadmates? To keep his fastball sharp?!

When you’re given the legendary honor of throwing out the first pitch at Citizens Bank Park, you got two jobs: show up in your Phillies jersey and get the ball over the plate. But somehow I’m the one being tossed out of the ballpark for loudly booing this old geezer after he threw a pathetic little dribbler three feet from the mound? How am I the bad guy, cause this guy is a 95 year old WWII veteran? I mean c’mon, the Blue Jays are in town and he’s embarrassing us in front of the Canadians. 

Don’t get me wrong, I support the troops! I take my hat off for the national anthem, hell I even take my hat off if I’m feeling patriotic during a really good Ford F-150 commercial. My cousin is in the National Guard and I let him borrow my lawnmower sometimes, and I got more American flags than a sexy Betsy Ross cosplayer. I’m just saying that if you’re gonna serve this country, you should be able to serve some heat on the mound.

Can I call a WWII vet a pussy? I think it’s illegal. 

Oh God, they’re making him throw another one? Christ, it’s worse than the first.

Pussy.