Pete Carroll Thinking About Taking Year Off Of NFL To Coach At North Carolina And Fuck 24-Year-Olds

After an unsuccessful year in Las Vegas, Pete Carroll’s brief tenure as the Raiders head coach has ended. However after a long and storied career in the NFL, Carroll is considering “switching it up” and is pursuing a head coaching job in North Carolina and fucking 24 year olds.

While some NC schools have expressed interest in Carroll, and Carroll has expressed great interest in the 24 year olds, some friction remains with his insistence that Geno Smith be brought along as starting quarterback.

Carroll’s decision is an inspiration to younger coaches. 

Bears head coach Ben Johnson credits Carroll for helping pave the way for others to go to North Carolina and focus on what matters most, fucking 24 year olds. 

“He’s really offering us NFL head coaches some light at the end of a dark tunnel,” said Johnson, “My North Carolina can’t come soon enough.”

Analysts estimate Jim Harbaugh has between six and eight years left before he’ll go to North Carolina to fuck 24 year olds.

“I learned from some of the greats who I’m honored to call my peers,” said Carroll in an interview on his future prospects, “Watching my colleagues and their trajectories I’ve come to realize what’s really important. There’s more to life than football, there’s 24 year olds!”