Player-Coach Not Sure What To Do With Players-Only Meeting Invite

A player-coach from the Canton Charge of the NBA G League was hit with a wave of crippling indecisiveness following an invitation to a players-only meeting. A flyer posted in the team’s locker room advertising the meeting reportedly drove Canton head coach and starting power forward, Russell Martino, into an existential panic atop the roof of the Canton Memorial Civic Center.

“I am a player, so it would make sense for me to go. But is it inappropriate for a coach to attend a players-only meeting? Will my teammates be offended if I don’t go?” Martino shouted over the whir of a news helicopter as a crowd gathered below. “Somebody just tell me what to do!”

Martino continued to pace while the horrified—and mildly annoyed—crowd of onlookers listened to his repetitive vacillations from the street. “I mean, I do play. I am a player,” said Martino for what seemed like the 12^th time, “but I am also a coach. I am both.  Maybe I should resign as coach and go to the meeting? Or retire as a player and stay home? Is there even a correct answer?”

Finally, after two harrowing hours, Martino announced to a cheering crowd his decision to attend the meeting. Sources say that was when he checked his phone and discovered an invitation to a coaches-only meeting scheduled for the same date and time.