Quiz: Can You Win Enough Championships to Remain In Archie Manning’s Will?

Sports Riot has discovered the secret formula for staying in the Manning patriarch’s will. Do you have what it takes? 

 

1) How many Super Bowls have you won or do you plan to win?

   A) 2 exactly

   B) 3 or more

   C) 0

 

2) Do people regularly forget you exist?

   A) Rarely

   B) Never

   C) Always

 

3) Do you have your own show?

   A) Yes, of course

   B) Not yet

   C) Yes, inexplicably

 

4) Did you host Saturday Night Live?

   A) Yes, in 2007

   B) Yes, in 2005

   C) No, and I’ve been asked to stop contacting them.

 

5) Does your father love you?

   A) More than anything

   B) Sure, I guess

   C) One day, hopefully

 

6) Were you a first overall draft pick?

   A) Yes

   B) No, I was 199th.

   C) No, I was sidelined by an injury and lack of talent.

 

7) Why are you taking this quiz instead of making me breakfast?

   A) We were wondering the same thing.

   B) I don’t go near breakfast foods.

   C) Sorry, I just wanted to figure something out but it’ll be ready in a minute, sir.

 

RESULTS: 

MOSTLY A’s – You Are Peyton and Eli Manning.

Congratulations, you have each won two Super Bowls, which is no more and no less than what is required to stay in Papa Manning’s will. In addition to his undying love, now you’ll have access to all his Saints memorabilia. Not sure why you’d want it, but by law it’s yours! 

MOSTLY B’s – You Are Tom Brady.

Sorry, you’ve won too many championships to be in Archie Manning’s will. You’ll have to console yourself with the fortune amassed by your supermodel wife.

MOSTLY C’s – You Are Cooper Manning.

Sorry, no matter how much money you make in your Senior Management position and whatever your achievements, you will never be in your father’s will because you lack a Super Bowl win — let alone two. Heck, you didn’t even play in the NFL. Maybe your brothers can spot you some dough if you grovel enough.