Report: Sandy Koufax Voted For Kamala—Does That Help?

Hey Harris fans. So, we bet you’re feeling down in the dumps this week. Between people laughing about “owning the Libs” on TikTok, to hearing your cousin in Oregon swear to Christ she’s moving to Canada, we bet you’re all some pretty Gloomy Gus-es. But if you can stop doom-scrolling for a sec, we stumbled upon something we think is pretty darn neat.

Did you know that Sandy Koufax voted for former Vice President Harris? Actually – did you even know he’s still alive? Well, we have good news on both fronts!

Sandy Koufax is still alive. He’s 88 and lives on a buffalo farm in Pennsylvania.
He voted for Kamala Harris.

Do you feel better? Like – did that help?

Look, we get it: You’re the 2024 Phillies, you went into the postseason hungry for your first big win since 2008, and then, confusingly, you were unceremoniously shown the door by the Mets. The Mets!

But!

What if we told you.

A three-time Cy Young Award winner also lost on election day? Is this helping at all? Just a little? Look, we’re trying, okay?

Maybe we should look at some stats and not talk about the election altogether. Uh… here you go: Sandy Koufax won the World Series four times. He was a seven-time All-Star, a three-time Triple Crown Winner, a four-time strikeout leader, and a member of MLB’s All-Time Team.

Christ, what else… He… pitched four no-hitters and a perfect game?

Actually, ya know what? Statistically Koufax practically always won — until just now.

Feelin’ better?

Great! And remember: Not everybody who voted for VP Harris is a loser this week. In very specific cases, like the great “Left Arm of God,” you’re in very elite company!

UPDATE:

For your own sake, please don’t ask who Nolan Ryan voted for.