Bill Belichick Asks 40-Year-Old Daughter What 24-Year-Olds Are Into These Days

Despite being cool enough to land a twenty-something at 72, former Patriots head coach Bill Belichick turned to his 40-year-old daughter to fill in any knowledge gaps about what 24-year-olds are into these days.

“Are they still into M*A*S*H and the Bee Gees? That’s what I was into when I was her age in 1976,” Belichick asked his daughter Amanda, who herself was 24 in the year 2008. Amanda took to her phone to check after a failed attempt at taking an “emergency” call.

“I only ask because conversation falls pretty flat before I clap my clapper-lights out,” Belichick clarified. “I tried putting on Andy Griffith, but she said she was busy with tick-tock — some game about watches. My flip phone doesn’t have games. I do own watches, though. By the way – I just got in the iGram, myself!”

Amanda, remembering what was popular with her own crew of hip moms, suggested skinny jeans, side parts, and John Mayer. She said she heard good things about the internet app “Vine,” and that mustaches and birds on everything were “uber epic.”

“Oh, and Costco,” Amanda added. “Did you try taking her to Costco?”

“No,” Belichick, replied, “but I took her to Disney World and she wasn’t impressed.”

Belichick then tried to remember what else was cool with kids when he was raising them. He mused he might try buying a whole bunch of POGs, American Girl dolls, beanie babies, gel pens, and silly bands and letting her choose from the pile — just like the dentist used to do. “You kids loved that!” he added.

Belichick’s 12-year-old granddaughter piped up to counter that everything about what Belichick just said was “cringe, for real,” and the whole conversation “was giving ick.” Belichick thanked her while Amanda furiously Googled what those terms meant.

Giving up slightly, Belichick said he would choose to concentrate on his girlfriend’s and his shared love for smoothies — the twenty-four-year-old loving them for their health benefits and Belichick loving them out of the necessity to eat only pulverized food.