New Law Requires Registered Arena Football Fans To Identify Themselves To Neighbors

Congress passed a new law Friday requiring all current and former Arena Football fans to identify themselves to neighbors within a 300-foot radius of their home. The Senate approved the law with urgency ahead of the upcoming 2025 season due to an inciting incident from a Nashville Kats fan earlier this year.

“The script goes like this,” said Senator Mazie Hirano (D–HI). “ ‘Hello. I am your neighbor, and in 2017 I was caught being an Arena Football fan. I had partial season tickets. I used to wear an Albany Firebirds jersey.’ ”

Sports Riot followed Evan Bunsen, 41, a former fan of the Washington Wolfpack, as he paid a visit to his neighbor. When the neighbor, who wished not to be identified, opened the door and saw Bunsen, she told her children to “go play outside.” But after hearing the script, she admitted she was relieved. “I thought you were going to tell me you were a pedophile,” said the neighbor.

Said Bunsen, “Well, that too.”