Rockies Power Rankings

It’s that time of year when we take stock of the latest movement in the hierarchy of the Rocky Mountains. Who is climbing? Who has peaked? Keep reading to find out.

  1. Mount Elbert (previous rank: 1)

A future first-ballot Hall Of Famer, Mount Elbert leads our rankings for a record-breaking 1129th consecutive year. It boasts an elite tectonic plate farm system and has shown remarkable consistency during its millennia-long reign. It may be centuries before we see any change at the top.

  1. Blanca Peak (previous rank: 6)

Blanca Peak, famous for its skillful tripoint shot, has been soaring up the rankings after the opening of a new state-of-the-art ski resort on its southern slope. An integral member of the Sangre de Cristos mountain range, Blanca Peak is respected by both fans and mountains alike for its grittiness and physical style of play.

  1. Cloud Peak (previous rank: 2) 

This wily veteran still has some tricks up its sleeves, even if many critics believe it’s gone downhill. Often criticized for giving other mountains the “cold boulder,” Cloud Peak will have to adapt to this new geological era if it hopes to have any chance against some of these younger, sturdier mountains currently being formed. 

  1. Mount Lincoln (previous rank: 3)

While Mount Lincoln remains an impressive mountain in its own right, there’s no denying it has become a shell of its former self.  Things turned sour for this mountain when a series of earthquakes collapsed its once-proud peak into a pedestrian pile of pebbles. 

  1. Nolan Arenado (previous rank: N/A) 

An absolute mountain of a man, Nolan Arenado earned his sixth Golden Glove this season in addition to leading the Rockies in all major hitting categories. With a wide range of talents, he has earned his place among the greatest protruding landforms in western North America.