Scalper Must Really Not Want To Go To Ball Game

This afternoon is a beautiful day for a ballgame, but this scalper must really not want to go. He’s offering $500 for one semi-obstructed, upper deck, mid-season Orioles ticket for a game that started a half hour ago and claiming “it’s a steal.” He also has a sign that says “I Need Tickets,” which he says is to avoid law enforcement.

I’m only at the stadium because it’s near my dentist, but if he’s going to all this trouble to move merch, it must be a really hot item. But if it’s such a good deal, why not go himself? No matter. His loss is my gain. Once inside, I’m shocked to find vendors hawking everything from peanuts to raffle tickets like some sort of fire sale. One man yells up and down the aisles, “Beer here! Get your ice-cold beer, here!” Who the hell tries to get rid of beer?

I had to know. I contacted management and became a vendor on the spot, but I’m missing the game I paid to see. Plus, I’m no longer able to drink the refreshing beers because of work rules. But now I’m making money at the ball game that I paid to see and, although painfully sober, have learned a major life lesson: “you gotta spend money to make money.” Thanks, scalper man.