‘The Unabomber Shuffle’ and 5 Other Banned Touchdown Celebrations
Ask any NFL oldhead, and they’ll tell you touchdown dances were once the highlight of the games. But as usual, the “No-Fun League” had to stick their noses in and shut things down. Here are 6 celebrations NFL fans desperately miss:
1. The Unabomber Shuffle
Randy Moss popularized this little 2-step explosion in the late ‘90s by miming ‘mailing the football’ to signify how he’d both blown up the defense and his symbolic wish that Ted Kaczynski would be freed from prison to continue his righteous crusade against the federal government. After its banning in 2001, many speculate it morphed into the now defunct Anthrax Shuffle.
2. The Electric Chair Slide
Similar to the dance we all know from our cousins’ weddings, this fan-favorite Dallas Cowboys celebration was eventually phased out in favor of the more-humane Lethal Injection Tango.
3. Dicks Out For Vrabel
Admittedly, this celebration is less effective in cold weather, “D’s out for V” was canceled back in 2020 due to the Liberal Media’s COVID concerns. With the potential return to the NFL next season, many have reported Vrabel’s new landing spot is contingent on, “If the D’s are ready to plop out.”
4. The Lambeau Bridge Leap
Named after Bart Starr’s portrayal of a desperate man sobbing while carrying a large rock to the edge of the end zone and “jumping” was ultimately deemed a bit too “harrowingly realistic”, it was eventually shortened to the now-famous “Lambeau Leap.”
5. The Oppenheimer Hop
Bill Belichick’s celebration dance inspired by the film. Unfortunately, some snowflake fans were too upset at the final pose, which featured the touchdown-getter standing back in horror and amazement as he watched the rest of his team pretend to be innocent civilians writhing in radioactive agony.
6. The Macarena
Frankly, Goodell was absolutely justified about this one. And the $2,000,000.00 fine he imposed wasn’t even harsh enough.
Join us next week for the “Top 5 Creative Sports Themed Ways Your Coach Should Die For Getting That Challenge Wrong!”
