This Day In Sports History: Judas Dunked On Jesus

Over two millennia ago, during a game of holy one-on-one, Judas dunked on the son of God. 

“This act of aggression showed the other apostles that Judas was not faithful to Jesus in b-ball court of God,” said Joyce Thomas, a 63-year-old professor of religious-athletic history, as she put down the historical textbook she helped write to demonstrate the dunk on the hoop in her office. 

“Judas had been a devoted follower up to that point, but Jesus’ infamous and pointed trash talking finally pushed him to posterize the holy trinity. 

The Messiah tried to claim that he was distracted because he thought he heard someone with leprosy cry out to be cured, but it’s widely accepted among other historians and priests that this was a ploy to excuse Jesus from being owned by Judas in the paint.

Despite such a defeat, Jesus accepted the “L” of the first of a seven game series. The Messiah then returned on Sunday to claim four games straight wins and the series.