This Year’s Swimsuit Issue Promises 153 More Tits!

We at Sports Riot have obtained an advance copy of the “Sports Illustrated Swimsuit 2023 Editor’s Letter,” detailing the magazine’s “big developments” for this year’s issue. We have published the letter in full below:

“As editor-in-chief of Sports Illustrated, I always marvel at how our ‘Swimsuit Edition’ finds new ways to represent and celebrate all women — tits included. What this year’s issue offers is an ode to our loyal readers who have made one thing abundantly clear: less cleavage, more tits. And boy, oh, boy, do we have tits for you. In fact, we can promise 153 more tits!

While shooting this issue, we realized there isn’t a single definition of ‘nice tits’. The 153 titties here embody the spectacle of tit. Big tits. Flat tits. Round tits. Pancake tits. Single tits. Differently sized tits. Man’s tits. Dog tits. Ben Roethlisberger tits. Mascot tits. 

Indeed, we have all manner of species of tit.

In fact, pages 31-32 feature a spread of tits so massive that we lacked space for the rest of the body. The layout is just bleed-to-bleed, gutter-to-gutter free-floating, cleavage-free tits designed by a special team of creators known for composing a Playgirl spread of 199 ornate testicles. 

We are thrilled to present you with this esteemed collection of beautiful, trailblazing, and courageous tits. We are a better publication as a result of it, and we invite you to pull up a chair and celebrate the wonder of 153 tits! 

 

Sincerely,

MJ Day

Sports Illustrated Editor-In-Chief”