Top 5 Running Backs We Wish Were Marshawn Lynch
The NFL hasn’t been the same since Beast Mode walked away, leaving a Marshawn-Lynch-sized hole in the place where our hearts used to be. Here are five running backs we at Sports Riot wish were Marshawn Lynch:
- Saquon Barkley
We’ve seen the press ask him questions once. And, you know what Saquon did? He answered the questions in good faith. We wish he were Marshawn Lynch, because we agree that sports journalists deserve zero respect.
- Clyde Edwards-Helaire
Clyde and the Kansas City Chiefs may be poised for a trip to the super bowl this season. But know what kind of bowls he should be more concerned about? Skittle bowls. Unfortunately, we hear that Clyde likes store-brand gummies.
- Dalvin Cook
Cook’s like a knock-off Marshawn, down to his Supercuts version of Lynch’s impeccable ‘do. If he were Marshawn, his yards-per-carry would be 4.2 instead of 4.8. We get it, dude, you want to be Marshawn. Why don’t you do us all a favor and actually be him?
- Alvin Kamara
Last Christmas Kamara was fined $5,000 for wearing cleats that violated the NFL’s uniform policy. We at Sports Riot only respect running backs who follow league rules including the slightest technicality. That’s why we wish he were Marshawn, because “I’m-just-here-so-I-don’t-get-fined” Lynch had the decency to obey NFL policy.
- Derrick Henry
Sure, he runs over people like Marshawn used to—even at a higher rate, according to the stat nerds. But his post-match hide-and-seek game has nothing on Marshawn’s, who once successfully hid from the press for three weeks in stadium air vents. If he were Marshawn, he’d frustrate a fifty-person search party worried for his safety, too, as much as a defensive line.
There you have it. Next week, look out for our top-five list of quarterbacks we wish were Marshawn Lynch.
