We Pay Tribute To The 5 Greatest Athletes Out Of North Korea

It is our privilege to be selected by HUMANE AND GRACIOUS LEADER to compile the finest list of our homeland’s greatest athletes. Here are North Korea’s (and the universe’s) best of the best.

5) GLORIOUS LEADER KIM JONG UN

GLORIOUS LEADER is the greatest and most glorious of all leaders. GLORIOUS LEADER allows bread for mouths!

4) KIM JONG UN – HANDICAP ZERO

As is North Korean tradition, GLORIOUS LEADER played golf once and scored an 18. GLORIOUS LEADER is humble enough to admit he didn’t invite golf but is it’s master!

3) ALL POWERFUL AUTHORITY KIM JONG UN

ALL POWERFUL AUTHORITY allows safety for our glorious bread!

2) MERCIFUL SPIRITUAL ADVISOR KIM JONG UN

SPIRITUAL ADVISOR allows belief in him!

1) KIM JONG UN – OLYMPICS CREATOR

GLORIOUS LEADER created the Olympics, sports (except golf), games, and happiness. THANK YOU GLORIOUS LEADER!

Tune in next week when we will be selected to list off “Top Five Greatest Things About GLORIOUS LEADER” — how will we limit it to only five!