We Rank Stephen A. Smith’s Top 7 Personalities

Stephen A. Smith is a man of many personalities. Researchers have concluded he has 472 of them, but we used a psychologist-approved formula to narrow it down to his best seven:

 

  1. Calm Cool, Collected Stephen A. – His laid-back tone and smooth cadence emerges whenever he prefaces one of his piping hot sports takes, and we adore the soothing sounds of introductory clauses like “first and foremost, the Los Angeles Lakers have a long, successful history in the National Basketball Association…”
  2. Enraged at Underachieving Teams Stephen A. – “…HOWEVER!!! THE LOS ANGELES LAKERS ARE NOT PLAYING TO THE BEST OF THEIR CAPABILITIES RIGHT NOW, AND I, QUITE FRANKLY, AM VERY DISTURBED BY THESE RECENT DEVELOPMENTS!!!” Quite frankly, we love this complete personality change within a single sentence.
  3. Max Kellerman Must Go Stephen A. – Everyone knows when Max Kellerman Must Go Stephen A. is around. Because all Max Kellerman Must Go Stephen A. says is “I CANNOT WORK WITH THIS MAN!” over and over and over.
  4. Close Personal Friend Stephen A. – This guy has your back and will let the whole world know it, but you must be an NBA or NFL superstar, preferably one that will “STAY OFF THE WEEEEED-DUH!!!” 
  5. Ballroom Dancing Stephen A. – Awaiting his call up on Dancing With The Stars, this Stephen A. spends every Wednesday evening sharpening his skills on the dance floor whenever his number gets called. “IMAN SHUMPERT! THEY PUT IMAN SHUMPERT ON THERE BEFORE ME?!” Ballroom Dancing Stephen A. hollers as he turns a Waltz into a Foxtrot staring in the dance studio’s mirror.
  6. Sylvester Stallone Impersonating Stephen A. – Sly Stallone Stephen A. appears right before an episode of First Take where Regular Stephen A. turns into a spot-on mimicking of Rambo. Molly Qerim explains it’s his way of getting psyched up for the show and right after he says to her, “Yo, Adrian…” the show starts, and First Take Stephen A. is ready to go.
  7. The Best Damn Sports Show Period Stephen A. – The very first Stephen A. the world got to see. The one we all fell in love with for his outlandish, socially unacceptable, and factually misguided behavior as he rattled off crazy sports takes in between John Kruk and Tom Arnold. What a gift it has been.