Amazing Female Competitor Somehow Holding Her Own Against Male Spellers

Approaching the final round of the National Spelling Bee, fans remain taken back by the amazing female competitor who is somehow holding her own against her more muscular and chiseled male spellers.

“All she has are X chromosomes, yet she’s been able to spell ‘syzygy’ correctly?” Larry Fischer, a lifelong linguistic CrossFit enthusiast, said about the impossibility of such verbal dominance. “She has to be hitting her reps in the gym because I’ve seen men twice her age who can deadlift 500 pounds but can’t recognize vowels like that.”

Despite the endless pressure she’s likely feeling from her husband, the inherent disadvantage of female biology, and judges demanding perfection but not really expecting much from her delicate frame, this incredible little gal has been able to keep her emotions in check to spell these very big and pulse-pounding words.

“It’s harder to spell words without a penis because the center of gravity a penis has helps the diaphragm express morphemes easier,” Fischer said, adding that his research always indicated the male jawline evolved specifically for the clear enunciation of consonants, rendering the women-folk better suited for tasks like Sudoku or writing grocery lists for their more able-bodied husbands. “Maybe a woman’s breasts contain two separate but smaller brains? Something has to explain this nature-defying performance.”

Fischer and the other rabid males in attendance then gasped when the adorable princess speller captured her fifth championship in five years, prompting the hormonal men to immediately rush the stage and challenge her to a 40-yard dash, right here, right now.