Why, Though?: Detroit Lions Just Announced Voluntary Rebrand To ‘Detroit Football Team’

When the 2022 season begins, fans with a watchful eye may notice an interesting change. Starting this offseason, the Detroit Lions will undergo a voluntary rebrand to become the Detroit Football Team for reasons that no one seems to understand.

Shortly after the conclusion of the Super Bowl, team president Rod Wood and owner Sheila Ford Hamp convened a press conference to announce the sweeping changes, apparently expecting to be commended by PETA or zookeepers or something for the decision.

“We’ve had an introspective dialogue about the presence of a vaguely cartoonish, not-all-that intimidating silhouette of a blue lion as the face of our franchise,” Ford Hamp said, adding that she attempted to initiate dialogue with lions at the Detroit Zoo before ultimately concluding for some reason that their silence expressed more than words ever could.

“Pending the results of the upcoming season, we may go a step further than anyone else and drop ‘Football’ from the name,” Wood said, grinning with a certain eagerness no one really cared to comment on.

As the press began exiting the facility in a futile attempt to reclaim some of their wasted time, Ford emphasized that while the franchise would undergo a branding overhaul, fans should expect the on-field product to remain exactly the same.