Aaron Glenn Assures Jets Fans 2025 Super Bowl Run Still Possible Based On These 31 Team Bus Accidents

With the New York Jets having finished the 2025 regular season in last place with a 3-14 record, many fans assumed this would spell the end of their Super Bowl dreams. However, head coach Aaron Glenn assured Jets faithful that a championship was still possible so long as 31 team buses all suffered catastrophic accidents.

“It’s really quite simple,” Glenn said. “If, hypothetically, someone were to have placed C4 explosives under every team’s bus, and, hypothetically, those explosives were set to go off in exactly 39 seconds, there would only be one NFL team left to give the Lombardi to.”

“We knew Coach was up to something,” Jets wide receiver Garrett Wilson said. “When I asked him how we were going to improve our chances of winning next season, he grinned and said ‘oh, just leave that to me’. Didn’t really answer my question, which is probably why we went 3-14.”

“Oh, it will be glorious!” Glenn said, rubbing his hands together. “Any moment now my phone will ring with a call from Commissioner Goodell. He’ll say, ‘Hello, Coach Glenn? Every other team has died in a horrific fireball of incalculable proportions. Congratulations, the New York Jets are Super Bowl champions. Also, we have decided to give you Sauce Gardner back, and an extra 12 first round picks just because!”

Though some have called Coach Glenn’s plot “villainous” and “domestic terrorism,” others see the logic in such a plan. “I personally don’t have a problem with the Jets blowing up opposing buses,” said Sean Payton. “They’re doing whatever it takes to win.”