Aaron Rodgers Demanding To Know Why He’s Not Being Considered For NFL Coach Of The Year

As NFL award battles begin to heat up, the season’s top contenders are all but set. Unless one were to ask Aaron Rodgers, who is yet again furiously insisting he should be leading the race for Coach of the Year.

“Look, Mike Tomlin’s a workable employee. But at the end of the day, who should get more credit — some schlub on the sideline, or the leader with a ‘C’ on his jersey? Not once has that guy been elected captain,” prodded the four-time Most Valuable Player. “Did you know that in the past 20 years, the Steelers only won the Super Bowl 10% of the time? Ever since I joined the roster, they haven’t lost a single one.” 

When asked where the former Packer believes he stands among other candidates such as Mike Vrabel and Shane Steichen, Rodgers responded with a question of his own — “How many State Farm commercials have those losers done?”

“The media constantly heaps praise onto ‘people’ like Andy Reid and pre-whip Bill Belichick, but if you compare their accomplishments from before versus after they started having to gameplan around my superhuman intellect, it becomes clear I taught them everything they know,” claimed the 2023 AT&T Pebble Beach Pro Am victor. “Hell, have either of them won a Super Bowl while carrying Mike McCarthy on their back? No, just me? Enough said!” 

Though Rodgers’ odds for nabbing his preferred accolade are slim to none, there is a silver lining — the 41-year-old’s reaction to being asked for a single piece of evidence his alleged wife exists has buoyed him to the number one spot for NFL Defensive Player of the Year.