Backup Quarterback Ready For Chance To Show Fans Just How Average He Can Be

After seeing limited snaps in his first four seasons, recently signed backup quarterback Bert McGrath told reporters gathered outside of his team’s facilities Thursday that he’s ready for an opportunity to show fans just how incredibly average he’s capable of playing.

“This is my chance to prove to the world that I’m one of those ordinary talents that comes along very often in a generation,” said the McGrath, the veteran backup, adding, “I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to complete just enough passes not to get cut.” 

McGrath is a garden-variety QB who will leave NFL cornerbacks puzzled as to why he’s even in the league, let alone on the field. Scouts for other teams say they’re impressed by his proficiency at both under-throwing and over-throwing his receivers.

“My fans and teammates will be so apathetic when they see how uninspiring I am as both a quarterback and a man. I’m not just average, I’m the most average player this league has ever seen. Get ready for a wild ride as I put on fair-to-unsatisfying performances, handing off the ball to the running back and kneeling out the clock in garbage time,” said McGrath.