Boxer Takes Issue With All Opponent’s Life Experiences Thus Far

During the press conference for the upcoming WBO Cruiserweight Title Bout, challenger Torrey Hawkins voiced his disapproval for each and every one of champion Rueben Flores’ life experiences. 

Hawkins proceeded to take aim at Flores’ close-knit relationship with his father. “I read online that your dad raised you as a single-parent after your mother’s premature death. Man, who the hell do you think you are? You’re going down in round one, SOB.” 

While Flores used the opportunity to heap praise on his opponent, Hawkins continued to interject with references to specific passages from his opponent’s Wikipedia page that really pissed him off. Among the topics Hawkins brought up were Flores’ battle with type-1 diabetes, his pescetarianism, and his passion for the game of chess. “Screw your passion for board games. As soon as you taste my uppercut, it’s checkmate for you, lesser human.” 

Before walking out of the press conference in a huff, a furious Hawkins offered a few parting words for the man he will be facing in the ring. “You remember that time you wore a disguise to visit that sick girl in the hospital so that the press wouldn’t find out? Well, I was there, in hiding, watching, seathing, and just because of that, I’m going to kick you in the nuts after I knock you out.”