Chargers Trade First-Round Pick To Rams For 17 Fans

In a move sure to shake up the AFC West, the Los Angeles Chargers made a major offseason splash today by trading their first-round draft pick to the Los Angeles Rams in exchange for 17 fans. Chargers GM, Tom Telesco faced questions about team needs since the end of last season, but the organization has decided that these 17 fans will play a pivotal role for the franchise going forward.

“To get 17 of the 32 fans in Los Angeles was simply too sweet of a deal for us to pass up,” said Telesco speaking to reporters over Zoom. “Yes, we could have used some protection for Justin, and some help in the secondary. But what good are players if there’s nobody to cheer for them? And by nobody, I mean not a single living soul has rooted for this team since we got to this city.”

Low on fans themselves, the Rams were hesitant to part with a majority of their fanbase.

“Man, I’m going to miss the energy those 17 fans brought to games,” said Rams head coach Sean McVay. “We’re just going to have to cross our fingers and hope that eventually, over many, many years, we can gradually attract 17 new fans to support this franchise.”

As for the Chargers, they’re wasting no time taking advantage of their new fans, raising concession prices by over 2,000% for the coming season.