Debate Time: Tom Brady Vs Joe Montana, But It’s 1792 Japan And They Both Have Throwing Stars

It’s a debate as old as time: Tom Brady vs. Joe Montana. Who would win? Who’s the greatest ever? We know what you’re thinking, dear reader. What if this was 1792? In Japan? And both warriors had throwing stars?

Just like the Super Bowl, this matchup should be held in a neutral site and a neutral period of time. As of now, we do not have any record of Brady or Montana winning a head to head throwing star competition in feudal Japan, but the NFL didn’t start recording statistics until 1932, so we cannot confirm this. 

Now, let’s look at their training. Brady not only holds the record for most feudal Super Bowls, but legend has it he spent 20 years under the tutelage of a dark ninja master. However, Montana was taught the ancient ways of the West Coast offense, and his Sensei Bill Walsh perfected his throwing star motions. Both quarterbacks have spent time mastering other weapons, but in this contest, no Katana Rice or Nungronkowski will be allowed, so this truly might be a toss up.

Montana is responsible for one of the greatest images we’ve ever seen, with “The Catch,” which is the famous play where, with pinpoint accuracy, lodged a throwing star right into Dwight Clark’s hand. However, regardless of one’s thoughts about both quarterbacks, objectively, Brady has the edge. Not only does Brady have the better shuriken completion percentage, but Brady has won titles with multiple fighting weapons, including when he beheaded Matt Ryan with a claymore. 

There are some who don’t believe that either Brady or Montana is the greatest shurienk slinger of all time. Some have argued on behalf of Peyton Manning or Aaron Rodgers, but with all due respect, those fans can commit seppuku.