Desperate Quarantined NBA Player Considering Having Sex With Wife

After spending two weeks quarantined with no one except for his partner, NBA Player Zach Carter is now facing the devastating possibility of only having sex with his wife.

Carter, who has been married to Jessica for six years, hasn’t seen her naked since his rookie season and now must accept the grim reality that he must postpone his adulterous behavior.

“The Coronavirus is affecting us all. I haven’t even gotten so much as a thirsty text from a random woman in a week, let alone bumped uglies with a stranger at the club,” Johnson said, adding that he paces around his bedroom thinking of ways to resolve this difficult situation while his wife lays on their bed in her sexiest lingerie. “I might have to have sex with my wife if this doesn’t end soon.”

“I am a tough person though, and Jessica has been asking me to give it to her since 2017, but I’m a team player and will do what needs to be done for our marriage. And for our marriage to survive, I’m never having sex with that woman,” Johnson added.