ESPN To Add “Would Fuck” Feature To Fantasy Football App

Due to extreme demand from fantasy players, owners, and developers, ESPN reportedly will add a “would f*ck” feature to their fantasy football app.

“Fans know the stats. But what about f*ckabilty?” pondered Brian Jordan, SVP of ESPN Technology in a press release. For years, the main feedback on the app from fantasy owners was either “poor UI functionality” or “unable to rate who’d I’d f*ck.”

So far, feedback from users has been overwhelmingly positive. “Finally! My team is gonna be stacked and ungodly hot,” fantasy owner Josh Fort said on X. “Was torn for RB1 until I saw Saquon had a 5 star ‘would f*ck’ rating!”

With this new metric, Rams Quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo has been seen as a sure fire number 1 overall pick. JJ McCarthy was seen as a strong contender until his unfortunate injury. However, he still is a value pick as many ESPN Fantasy Owners list a torn meniscus as a kink.