‘Hard Knocks’ Finale Will Show Bears Fans Were In Purgatory All Along

WARNING: The following content contains SPOILERS.

HBO leaked information Monday about its Season 21 finale of Hard Knocks: Chicago Bears. Lead director Shannon Furman told sources that the final minutes of the season reveal a significant but, many say, inevitable twist: that Bears fans have been in purgatory, trapped, since the beginning.

Furman, 43, claims the season and the franchise have been teasing Easter Eggs aplenty, and for as far back as the 1920s. “Think about it. The team’s had twenty-some quarterbacks in as many years. Does that seem normal to you? Also, a team from a city with nearly three million people losing consistently to some obscure town in Wisconsin? We feel we’ve made things painfully clear,” laughed the producer-director. “Oh, and what about the 101-year-old team owner? Come on! Too Biblical.”

Fans familiar with the leak, meanwhile, have begun to connect the dots. “I’ve always had the feeling that time stopped for us in January of 1986,” said longtime fan Gina Mahalski. “The team hasn’t changed. The city hasn’t changed. Even the people look the same — still just the mustache and sweater vest. And we all eat as if the ’90s health craze never happened.”

Despite the leak, only a few die-hard Bears fans seem perplexed by the situation. Online chats reveal a smattering of people wondering, “What is the meaning of all this?” and “How will this twisted story end?”

“I’m a weekly viewer, and I was blown away,” said Hall of Fame tight end Rob Gronkowski. “It makes so much sense now. Mike Singletary is an angel.”

As for the infamous double-doink? “Come on, people,” Furman said. “Nothing like that could actually exist on earth. Clearly these fans have been trapped in an in-between plane of existence.”

Added Furman, “Hey, at least they’re not in hell like the Cleveland Browns.”