Fourteen More Jets Players Retroactively Opt Out Of 2020 NFL Season

On the grounds that the 2020 NFL season is nothing more than an imaginary thought exercise despite it still “continuing” into the “playoffs,” fourteen additional Jets players have joined a growing group of teammates in retroactively opting out of the year, stating that there’s no need to keep paying them for – or to keep any records of – something that never even happened.  

“If you ask me, this has all been one big accounting error,” said current Jets QB and player-still-on-the-rise, Sam Darnold. “And as long as the NFL destroys all video and statistical evidence of the aforementioned fictitious season, we Jets players are more than happy to return all the money they accidentally gave us – minus, of course, all nonrefundable investments made to uphold our personal reputations during this time.”

In a sign of solidarity with his players, Jets ownership announced that not only are they also retroactively opting out of the 2020 NFL season, but the team plans to go as far as renouncing all of his seasons in the league, starting from 2014 onward.

“Honestly, if this move helps take our guys back to a time when others still had respect for us as a people, we’re more than okay having the last six years of this team’s life be nothing more than an unpaid internship,” said a Jets front office spokesperson.

With so many roster spots now available to be contractually filled, the Jets front office says they plan to finish out the illusory season by signing a ragtag team of haphazard replacement players, all of whom they hope will thrive under the leadership of new replacement head coach, Gene Hackman.