Hear Us Out: We Give The Deer Guns Too

Look, everyone knows that hunting defenseless deer is inherently unfair. That’s why we here at Sports Riot have devised a solution: we let the deer have guns, too. Once the deer have firearms, the playing field is now even. With hunters required to wear blaze orange, deer may even gain the upper hand.

Look, we’re not talking about anything crazy here. An intermediate-range, bolt-action rifle like the Ruger American .308 Winchester, securely fastened to the back of a buck, should be sufficient to create a competitive hunt. More advanced deer can opt for a compact bow if they prefer a challenge.

Look, the bottom line is that removing a deer’s antlers and replacing them with high-powered weaponry is the best way to create parity in the sport. By turning prey into predators, we completely flip the narrative. Imagine if Bambi’s mom was packin’ heat. Not so sad anymore, is it?