In Memoriam: The NHL 1917 – 1924

Today marks the 100 year anniversary of the death of the greatest “hockey” league the world had ever seen. The NHL, or “National Hockey League,” in its time was reportedly extremely popular. Popularity sprang up between Canadians, pale corn-fed northern Americans, and those who drank Busch and then immediately crushed the can with their forehead.

Despite its short but legendary lifespan, the NHL left a legacy that 100 year-old fans will hold onto forever. To commemorate the day, remaining fans gathered at a local rink to hear the incoherent ramblings of Don Cherry, watch Alexei Kovalev who refused to pass the mic to his teammates, and try to ignore the jeers from local alcoholic and failed restaurant owner Wayne Gretzky. They finished up the night by splitting up into teams and played a game that was impressively watched by the exact same amount of viewers of all Coyotes home games combined, no one.

Many blame the lack of generational grit for the NHL’s downfall. Hockey, sources say, was best enjoyed when you had to trudge through the snow, uphill, both ways, hate yourself, your situation, and commit organized violence with sticks.

It’s theorized by many sports historians that the generations following The Greatest Generation were too soft to continue the sport. With future generations overall choosing happiness over hockey, which directly led to our victory in WWII, defeating the Great Depression and ultimately ending the NHL.

Some speculate that if it had survived, it would have most likely turned commercial like all the rest. Tim Hortons arena, Michelin Snow Tires sponsored halftime show, and league mandated “helmets” for “safety”. Maybe it’s for the best that we all remember hockey when it was at its best, during, and only during WWI — rightfully to never to be spoken about again.

Join us next week when we take a look at 1994-2004, when Major League Baseball lived, thrived, and then died.