It’s Mother’s Day! Don’t Forget To Call Your Mom The C-Word By: Aaron Rodgers

I get it – we’re all busy. Chores this, chores that – hell, some of us are even carrying the entire weight of a hopeless franchise on our backs. But even I, Aaron Rodgers, know when it’s someone else’s day.

When Sports Riot asked me to write an editorial on Mother’s Day, the day that celebrates maternal love and family, I knew exactly what I’d broadcast to the world:

Isn’t it time you phoned your mother up and called her the C-word?

I know that you think she already knows how much you loathe her—you may even have called her up as recently as last week to tell her she’s ruined your life. But fuck that: Just remember all of the things that woman has done to you. Don’t you owe it to her to, as often as you can, call her a dirty slang term for the same place you came from?

And sure, we all have different relationships with our mothers. You may not have even had a consistent one with her. Maybe you’re remembering that one time she told you how “proud of you” she was on draft day when they called your name, and that’s got you thinking, “Should I even be making this call?” Well, I’m here to tell you to fight through that. If it helps, picture her saying the same thing to your smug jackass of a brother (even though he never got off the practice squad in the NFL), and all the warmth of the thousand undying flames of your eternal hatred will return to you in a moment, and you’ll make that call. And you’ll say that word.

Basically what I’m saying is, time is short. Even though she’s already been around for way too long, your mother isn’t going to be here forever. So go ahead: buy her that bouquet of dead flowers. Make reservations for all the tables at her favorite brunch place for yourself and don’t go so she can’t get a spot. You may even want to consider getting her a box of chocolates, so long as you know she’s allergic.

Just remember: This is her day. To feel like shit.