Its Official: Myers-Briggs Creates Unique Category For Type Of Loser Dak Prescott Is

Since its conception in 1944, the Myers-Briggs Personality Test (MBPT) has never changed, until now. Research found that the famed test couldn’t measure just how much of a massive fantastical loser Dak Prescott is.

Previously the test results would be a four letter code composed of these options:

(E) Extraversion or (I) Introversion
(T) Thinking or (F) Feeling
(S) Sensing or (N) Intuition
(J) Judging or (P) Perceiving

Now there are additional options culminating in Dak’s newly identified “SCGU,” which stands for (S) Seriously (C) Consider (G) Giving (U) Up.

Psychologists point out what makes Dak’s specific kind of loserness so unique: “Prescott’s ability to make things appear closer than they actually are is unmatched. When it’s over, that’s when he makes things seem close,” stated Southern Methodist University head of clinical psychology, Dr. Gavin McRhea. “In fact, they were never close.”

Other psychologists were quick to point out that there’s a reason Dak excels in “garbage time,” concluding unanimously that he’s “trash.”

For others, the official website for the MBPT will now alert local social workers when a new SCGU personality is identified. The alert includes an automatic erectile dysfunction prescription, a LEGO train set for one, and a “So, You’re a Complete Loser!” autobiography by Tony Romo.

When Prescott heard about the new personality classifications from a reporter, he replied “Well actually I-“ but then tripped while standing still, then threw up strawberry milk, then somehow threw an interception to the Dallas media.

Join us next week when we don’t even need to try to convince Aaron Rodgers to take hallucinogens and fight a grizzly bear!