Marathon Winner Has No Idea How To Spend Rest Of Her Afternoon

After winning The Chicago Marathon last week, former Olympic gold medalist Kathrine Switzer told reporters that she has no clue what to do with the rest of her day. “I’ve been training for this for the past seven months. Now what?” remarked a visibly perplexed Switzer, who then asked a reporter what non-runners normally do during afternoons. “Who am I when the running stops?” 

“At first, I thought, I’ll call up my friends, but then I realized I don’t have any. I haven’t spoken to a single person in months while training for this thing,” said Switzer, who lost contact with her family years ago while training for the Olympics. “I would go see my parents if I had any clue where they live.”

After being seen listlessly milling around the finish line with a blank expression on her face, Switzer started giving out bananas and water bottles to other participants. “It felt good doing things for other people, which made me think… Why am I even running marathons? Who is that for? Because it’s not for me,” said Switzer, adding that there are some things you can’t run from. 

“Runners passing you by—that’s one thing—but life passing you by?” Switzer pondered to reporters before asking them to no longer refer to her as a marathon runner, but rather, “a human being who used to run marathons.” After several more minutes of soul searching, Switzer’s boredom overcame her, and she began training for the LA Marathon that will be held next March.