WWE Names Roman Reigns Independent Contractor Of The Month

Fresh off wrestling his 100th match of the month, Roman Reigns, through hard work, determination, and not accepting a single second of overtime pay, was awarded with the highest honor the WWE can bestow: WWE Independent Contractor Of The Month. 

“I’ve done a lot in WWE, but I’m ecstatic to finally get the top prize in our game,” said Reigns, writing down all the money he’s spent on baby oil so he can hopefully later write it off as a business expense. “I’m excited for an increase in ‘WWE Bucks,’ good for 20% off anything in the WWE Store.” 

Reigns became eligible for the award after willingly wrestling two straight matches without pay, all while competing with a broken spine. To commemorate his achievement, Reign’s 1099 form will be hung up in Vince McMahon’s office, next to the heads of any wrestler asking for a pay increase or a health savings account.

Reigns, finally finding success in his career, held his WWE Heavyweight Independent Contractor of the World Championship above his head and has sworn to defend it against any union head in a No Liability Match at Summerslam.