Miami Marlins Finally Hire First Orthopedic Surgeon

After 27 years in Major League Baseball, the Miami Marlins have finally hired the franchise’s first orthopedic surgeon. Dr. Kenneth Brookfield will now be responsible for diagnosing players’ injuries. In previous years that duty was left up to either the manager, bench-coach, the water-boy, the groundskeepers, and a lucky 13th caller every Monday Morning to the radio station home for Marlins baseball.

Not only is Brookfield able to diagnose players’ injuries, he can treat them now too. Replacing the old box of bandages the organization always used for any and every injury. “Someone said it would save us money in the long run by avoiding lawsuits from players and all that stuff,” said team owner, Jeffrey Loria, when asked about the new hire. Players are reportedly pleased to now have someone to talk to about their injuries with replacing the Magic 8-Ball they had always used prior to consult after an ailment, which happened to be around for their ‘97 and ‘03 World Series titles.

The Marlins plan on introducing Brookfield to the public in a press-conference by breaking third-baseman, Brian Anderson’s ankle and showing how well he can treat the injury.