Nation Stunned To Learn World Series Was 3 Months Ago

From the desolate towns of Alaska to our country’s most populous cities, the nation was stunned to learn that the World Series ended a whopping three months ago in early November. 

“No, that can’t be right,” wrote Betty Landis, a jeweler in Winnetka, Illinois, on her Facebook page under a ‘2022 In Review’ article. “I’m pretty sure it hasn’t even happened yet. There was a strike and then…” the post trailed off. “This has got to be fake news.”

In Findlay Ohio, history teacher Mario Torissi was equally incredulous when the radio mentioned the champion Astros. “Wait, wait, wait,” he said while calling into the station, “the Astros? Didn’t they get in trouble for cheating or something? And you’re telling me that this last world series was decided in Philadelphia three months ago? Pal, I think I would have heard about that!” 

Meanwhile, patrons at a Seattle sports bar remembered the World Series beginning but were sure the series hadn’t wrapped yet. “I mean, yeah, the Phillies are up a game…and then football started and…Christmas happened. Yeah, the next game has got to be pretty soon,” several Seahawks fans murmured while watching ESPN. 

Some residents, like Jim Grimes of Arizona, expressed confusion and even hostility over the fact that the World Series had already taken place, only later to be shown a photograph of themselves attending the event. “Oh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah…that’s right,” Grimes responded.

While hardly anyone could agree on the details of the 2022 World Series or even validate its existence, the nation expressed excitement about seeing pitchers and catchers reporting to Spring Training in less than a month.