5 Insufferable Lessons Aaron Rodgers Learned From Ayahuasca

With Aaron Rodgers’ season finished, the retirement talk has begun. Aaron is reportedly reflecting on his year and unfortunately has contacted Sports Riot with the five lessons he learned from his Ayahuasca walkabout. Sorry to do this to you, but, here’s what Aaron’s drug enlightened brain wants you to know about his season, future, and the universe?

 

1) INTERCEPTIONS ARE NEVER YOUR FAULT

2) THE PLAY CLOCK IS JUST A CONSTRUCT

3) CONCUSSIONS CRACK OPEN THE WINDOW TO ENLIGHTENMENT

4) EVERYONE IS CONNECTED TO AARON

5) I ASKED THE EARTH MOTHER AND FOUND OUT I ALREADY HAD THE ANSWERS

 

When asked why “win in the playoffs” wasn’t listed as a lesson – Rodgers just stared into the vast existence of space before him before asking if we also saw that four mouthed ferret wearing a Bears jersey.