Nation’s Hardass Dads Call On Sons To Man The Fuck Up And Get Back Out There

Dear sons, the time has come for you to man the fuck up and get back out there. A pandemic? Don’t gimme that crap. An invisible enemy so terrifying, so vile, so lethal, you need to cower in your climate-controlled, pussy-ass condos instead of hustling back on D. How ‘bout instead of hoarding toilet paper like the selfish, little shitstains you are, you grow a pair and put some goddamn points on the board. Pathetic. I had more respect for the Viet Cong.

Some of you Nancys even have the audacity to complain about staying home in your fucking pajamas. You know who else works in sleepwear? Prostitutes. But prostitutes don’t complain about getting their fuckin’ hands dirty when they’re down seven with two minutes to go. Only generation-pan-z does that. Now clean the sand out of your vaginas, grab your purses, and go win this thing.

Belated gender reveal! You’re all a bunch of bitches. And if this virus doesn’t wipe out what’s left of the greatest generation, the crushing disappointment that is their grandsons will.