Quotes

“Marcus and Jasmine will go down this year. That’s two.”
–Michael Jordan, on which of his children have been instructed to go into cardiac arrest in response to Bronny James’ heart attack
March 28, 2024
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“It’s what anyone would do.”
–Draymond Green, heroically rushing into a burning building before finding an NBA Center trapped under rubble who hadn’t been punched in the face yet
March 28, 2024
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“Does Jennifer know?!”
–Alex Rodriguez, on the T-Wolves being at the top of the Conference standings
March 27, 2024
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“Everyone I’m playing with now is too young to remember Digimon. It’s like, man, what are we even supposed to talk about?”
–Vince Carter, on how he knew when to retire
March 18, 2024
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“It’s more than just basketball. I’m preparing these kids for the afterlife. Compared to a few seasons with me, Hell will be a cake walk.”
–Mike “Coach K” Krzyzewski, on his coaching philosophy
March 12, 2024
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“The Warriors may be light years ahead of everybody else, but I’m three hours ahead of the Warriors.”
–Kevin Durant, on why he moved to the Eastern Time Zone
March 12, 2024
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“If I dribble a basketball in exactly the right sequence, it will bring on the immediate destruction of the world, and reveal me as I have always been –Shiva, The Destroyer!”
–Kyrie Irving, on something you may not know about him
March 12, 2024
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