Potential UFC Showdown Would Be First Fight On White House Lawn Since Mamie Eisenhower Beat the Brakes Off Pat Nixon

Donald Trump’s announcement that a UFC fight may be held on the White House lawn has been met with both roars of enthusiasm and sighs of resignation. However, many Americans may not know there is historical precedent: The bout would be the first to take place outside the presidential residence since Mamie Eisenhower beat the brakes off of Pat Nixon on August 10, 1960. 

“You have to remember, by that time, they’d been throwing jabs at each other in the newspapers for eight years. Mrs. Nixon said she’d bust up Eisenhower’s dollface if she kept running her mouth about the vice president’s doings in Hanoi. On the other side, the president’s wife was increasingly frustrated by her foe’s unwillingness to share her lauded tuna fish Jell-O recipe — a secret not to be kept from Mamie ‘Stone Hands’ Eisenhower,” explained historian David McCullough. “By the time the spring of ‘60 rolled around, they were both wishing their bullet bras could shoot.” 

The first and second ladies got their knuckle sandwiches just after supper that sweltering summer evening. But while both entered the Rumble in the Rose Garden, only one ended up lying there red, white and blue.

“Pat had the benefit of being raised with two older brothers, but Mamie grew up helping with her father’s meat packing business — a strength furthered by throwing hands at schoolchildren who referred to the profession as ‘for nancy boys,’” said McCullough, directly quoting Eisenhower’s now-published childhood diary. “Pat held her ground in the first round, but when the pearls came off, it was Mamie who gave her the what for. After one particularly devastating haymaker to the jaw, Nixon dropped like the economy under her husband.” 

Following the skull-cracking wallop, Mrs. Nixon remained on the ground for several minutes, lying low like ol’ Tricky Dick would later do during the Watergate scandal. However, no true harm was done, as their husbands neither noticed or cared “what funny business their women folk got up to.”

Still, a legacy remains. Many fighters cite Eisenhower as an influence even above Muhammad Ali, with Mike Tyson’s stating that Ali “never landed a kick to the head in kitten heels.”