Stephen Miller Physically Restrained By Staff As Venezuelan Little League Team Takes Field

Trump adviser Stephen Miller had to be physically restrained by aides Saturday after catching a glimpse of Venezuela’s Little League World Series team taking the field. Witnesses say Miller began “visibly vibrating” as the first player, identified only as Julio, stepped into the batter’s box.

Sources close to Miller claim the conservative hardliner was “deeply unsettled” by the team’s socialist tendencies, citing their “scandalous” habit of sharing the same bat. “This is exactly what Karl Marx warned us about,” Miller reportedly shouted, pointing out the players’ matching jerseys as “uniforms straight out of Castro’s closet.”

Miller’s rage only escalated when he learned the event was being held in Williamsport, Pennsylvania. “This is Williamsport! Not Joséport!” he allegedly yelled, before noting that “not one white player” was on the Venezuelan roster. “They’re stealing jobs from American kids,” he muttered, glaring at the scoreboard.

Despite the game being an amateur youth exhibition, Miller appeared convinced the Venezuelan squad posed a threat to U.S. professional baseball. “At least there are no browns on the pro team,” he was overheard saying, moments before lunging toward the dugout and being intercepted by security.

ICE agents were reportedly “on standby” but became confused when informed the players were already cleared to compete. Miller’s fury peaked upon learning Venezuelan batters were successfully hitting changeups. “They’re adapting to American pitching — it’s an invasion!” he fumed, before being escorted out of the stadium for “everyone’s safety.”