Rags-To-Riches Skateboarding Phenom Recalls Practicing In Empty Above-Ground Swimming Pool

Although her life is now filled with only the finest of hand-crafted cement bowls, pro skateboarder Emily Nakahara’s claims she never would have become skating’s ‘Grand Governess Of Gunite’ were it not for the unforgiving 52-inch steel walls of her parents’ old, empty Cornelius Phoenix above-ground swimming pool.

“When you grow up wearing floaties as knee pads and doing 90° Acid Drops straight into a water-less bucket of metal, you become real gnar gnar, real fast,” said Nakahara, who recently signed a $25-million endorsement deal with Twizzlers just because they remind her of the one pool noodle her family could afford. “So, real quick, shout out to parental homies, Namiyo and Hifumi, for never filling up the pool and for always keeping it steezy.”  

Nakahara, whose story has inspired millions of little groms and grommets around the world, says she plans to use her newfound wealth to do something that is NBD in skate circles.

“With just a little bit of cash and thanks to my new killer partnership with The Great Escape, my foundation – Pools For Cheabs – plans to donate 50,000 inground swimming pools to up-and-coming, impoverished shredders by the end of the year, ramping up to 5,000,000 pools installed by 2025.”

With money, swimming pools, and philanthropy all mastered, Nakahara says she will now take on the one great skateboarding challenge she’s worked on since she was five: getting Etnies and Vans to somehow be friends again.